Listening to the Voices in My Head

I was opening email program to answer someone, and the power flickered just enough to power down the computer.

Everything booted up ok, so I went back to what I had originally started to do, only to find that it wouldn't get past the email programs splash screen. (insert stream of mild bad words here)

But I figured, I would just reinstall the program over itself. Problem persisted. (a few more mild bad words)

Removed all but the Data and Back up folders, and reinstalled... Problem persisted. (insert slightly stronger bad words here).

Deleted the Data folder and voila! Program started, but all my settings were gone. (insert a streak of profanity that would have made a Marines ears burn)

Luckily for me, I had an older back up of the entire program's data files. Only problem is, I have lost some addresses, and some rather important emails. Hence the streak of naughty words.

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism .
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.