Movie Review
May. 18th, 2004 04:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anysiaSaw Van Helsing .... Now, for my opinion.
Hugh Jackman decked out in black leather goth is wonderful eyecandy. The friar was absolutely hillarious, and a wonderful addition. The FX was pretty damned good too (with the exception of the incredible flying stage coach, but I won't describe it in detail as to not spoil). But the Vamp Barbie Bimbos and some of the story dialoge was so cheesy you could spread it on crackers. Whoever wrote some of those lines should be shot,or at least flogged. And that Princess... Egads, some of her lines were the worst.
I have to say, the Vamps, when in fangface, were fine. When they were in 'human' form, their IQs dropped and it was bitch fight time. And what was with this 'how about the two of us walk into a dangerous, probably deadly situation with nothing but two torches and an empty sword sheath'? Hullo? Anyone home.... Vampire hunting...... WEAPONS? How about one of those axes or swords that are cluttering the castle by the dozen? Anyone?
Dracula.... Drac- I DROOL-la... oh hubba hubba, I have a neck you can nibble on. What a hottie, but I digress.
The Friar (actually I am a friar not a monk so I can curse Dammit) was a great 'Q' to Helsing. Perfect straight man, but HE got the girl. (Actually I am a friar, so I can).
Ok, Miss Princess.. Gets the living crap beaten out of her. No problem. Falls to a slate roof from 30 ft above, crashes into trees and sides of building. Walks away without a scratch. Does a tarzan routine with cables and chains (I almost yodeled the Tarzan cry on more than one occasion) and she doesn't even chip a nail. BUT get tackled onto a soft chaise lounge and she DIES???!!!! WTF? Her funeral pyre.... Smokey images of her joining her family in the clouds, and with one look back to the forlorn Van Helsing was a bit too fluffy bunny for my tastes. Would have preferred a broody VanHelsing in the next flick (oh yeah, you can see that coming, trust me) Oh yes, Hugh Jackman in broody black goth again.....
All in all, it was watchable, and enjoyable in some parts, unintentionlly comic in some parts, but I am glad I attended 'half price tuesday'.
Hugh Jackman decked out in black leather goth is wonderful eyecandy. The friar was absolutely hillarious, and a wonderful addition. The FX was pretty damned good too (with the exception of the incredible flying stage coach, but I won't describe it in detail as to not spoil). But the Vamp Barbie Bimbos and some of the story dialoge was so cheesy you could spread it on crackers. Whoever wrote some of those lines should be shot,or at least flogged. And that Princess... Egads, some of her lines were the worst.
I have to say, the Vamps, when in fangface, were fine. When they were in 'human' form, their IQs dropped and it was bitch fight time. And what was with this 'how about the two of us walk into a dangerous, probably deadly situation with nothing but two torches and an empty sword sheath'? Hullo? Anyone home.... Vampire hunting...... WEAPONS? How about one of those axes or swords that are cluttering the castle by the dozen? Anyone?
Dracula.... Drac- I DROOL-la... oh hubba hubba, I have a neck you can nibble on. What a hottie, but I digress.
The Friar (actually I am a friar not a monk so I can curse Dammit) was a great 'Q' to Helsing. Perfect straight man, but HE got the girl. (Actually I am a friar, so I can).
Ok, Miss Princess.. Gets the living crap beaten out of her. No problem. Falls to a slate roof from 30 ft above, crashes into trees and sides of building. Walks away without a scratch. Does a tarzan routine with cables and chains (I almost yodeled the Tarzan cry on more than one occasion) and she doesn't even chip a nail. BUT get tackled onto a soft chaise lounge and she DIES???!!!! WTF? Her funeral pyre.... Smokey images of her joining her family in the clouds, and with one look back to the forlorn Van Helsing was a bit too fluffy bunny for my tastes. Would have preferred a broody VanHelsing in the next flick (oh yeah, you can see that coming, trust me) Oh yes, Hugh Jackman in broody black goth again.....
All in all, it was watchable, and enjoyable in some parts, unintentionlly comic in some parts, but I am glad I attended 'half price tuesday'.
