AL-GEBRA

[anysia]

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to
be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while
in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and
a calculator.  At a morning press conference, Attorney General John
Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious
'Al-gebra'  movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying
weapons of math instruction. 

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y'
and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they
belong! to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There
are 3 sides to every  triangle,'" Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
given us more fingers and toes. I am gratified that our government has
given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs
who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard.

"Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of
influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we
must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."
President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the
potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before
seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in
random facts of vertex." ! 

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, 'Read my
ellipse!' Here is one principle he is uncertain of: though they continue
to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around
their necks.



I received this from 4 sources in one week. Don't remember which I got it from first, so no being snarky, ok?

Comments

[crazysoph.livejournal.com]

While I was in contact with a local secularist society, they used one of my observations as one of the marginalia in their magazine - which was the innocent question: if we were renaming things "freedom" fries, then when were we going to return the zero to the Arabs?

Hee!

A series of awful puns. Word-puns of mass destruction?

Crazy(and ducking quickly away)Soph