Colored by what happened
Oct. 26th, 2011 11:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anysiaWing and I joined a local photography/photographers club. Me, I'm rather ambivalent about about going to the meetings. Not just because of just barely being over the flu, but for other reasons.
The last time I belonged to any sort of 'club', the nano the shrew crew sucked everything thing from me that they could, they turned on me like the pack of rabid bitches they really were. (Stole a lot of things that were never returned, too) Then when we became rather successful in our endeavor, they hounded us with rumor and innuendo for years afterward. Even after a motorcycle accident damaged a disc in my back collapsed, leaving me partially disabled didn't make they draw in the claws and venom. That experience has really made me antsy about being in any sort of club/group.
This morning Wing asked me if I wanted to go to tonights meeting, and again the 'ice cold rock sinking in pit of stomach' feeling started up again. Whereas I don't mind, and actually enjoy, taking classes or instructional workshops with professional photographers, my guts tighten up when thinking about being around a 'peer group' again. When I do agree to go, what Wing didn't know (but will now) it's all i can do to not throw up because of the stress.
Now, intellectually I know the people in the group are nothing like the slugs before, but once burned....
*sigh*
The last time I belonged to any sort of 'club', the nano the shrew crew sucked everything thing from me that they could, they turned on me like the pack of rabid bitches they really were. (Stole a lot of things that were never returned, too) Then when we became rather successful in our endeavor, they hounded us with rumor and innuendo for years afterward. Even after a motorcycle accident damaged a disc in my back collapsed, leaving me partially disabled didn't make they draw in the claws and venom. That experience has really made me antsy about being in any sort of club/group.
This morning Wing asked me if I wanted to go to tonights meeting, and again the 'ice cold rock sinking in pit of stomach' feeling started up again. Whereas I don't mind, and actually enjoy, taking classes or instructional workshops with professional photographers, my guts tighten up when thinking about being around a 'peer group' again. When I do agree to go, what Wing didn't know (but will now) it's all i can do to not throw up because of the stress.
Now, intellectually I know the people in the group are nothing like the slugs before, but once burned....
*sigh*
